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"If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it change your attitude"
-Maya Angelou
-Maya Angelou
“Cold brew please whipped easy no sugar”, my third one in two hours as I sit in the new Chic
coffee shop placed in my recently gentrified neighborhood. Frustrated gasping silently as I review all my materials trying to put down my ideas not making sense of anything I look out the window in aggravated. I really despise writing being more of the conversational type able to discuss anything religion, art, politics, even cartoons but writing no! not my strong suit. I'll take a smoke break then come back and try it all over again as I return I look to my left and notice 3 nicely dressed well-spoken people having a conversation about what writing how ironic I usually try to mind my business and stay to myself but I couldn't let the opportunity pass I order two coffees one tea and step up to their table very nervously I begin to stumble over my words “umm ahh umm hello excuse me I’m Danielle I overheard you guys discussing the writing process is it okay if I sit in and take few notes. I'm really struggling and don't know when or how to start” Each person introduces themselves to me and I feel like I’ve just hit the lotto. Don Murray, Anne Lamott, and Maria Popova. I say out loud “this is going to be great”. “Writing is primarily not a matter of talent, dedication, of vision, of vocabulary, of style, but simply a matter of sitting, the writer is a person who writes.” (1 Murray) Well that’s excellent because I think I’ve mastered sitting. I’ve been sitting here for three hours to no avail. We all let out light hearted chuckle and then get back to business. I show them what I’ve been working on thus far which is mostly scribbles, and x’s across most of the writing, parts I explain as editing. “Don’t look back. Yes, the drafts need fixing. But first it needs writing” (2 Murray) “Be patient, listen quietly, the writing will come. The voice of the writing will tell you what to do” (3 Murray) This makes sense to me the light bulb finally comes on. I’ve been going about this all wrong and I know it now. I have plenty to say, “so just say it Danielle”, I whisper to myself. Or so I thought, but I continue to explain my x’s across the many sheets of paper and my thoughts that I can’t seem to gather enough to place into well thought out sentences. Anne throws her hand up in my face to silence me the look on her face clearly shows she is tired of hearing all my self-absorbed whining and complaining, she says; “Shitty first draft, all good writers write them. This is how they end up with good second drafts and terrific third drafts.” (1 Lamott) “The first draft is a child’s draft, where you let it all pour out and then let it romp all over the place, knowing that no one is going to see it and that you can shape it later” (2 Lamott) I proceed to pull out balled up sheets of paper from my coat pockets with a look of relief on my face. “So i can keep these is what you are saying” as I place them on the table for observation. She briefly eyes over them with an expressionless face and I get nervous again. She looks up with a brightness in her eyes that makes me feel trusting and safe then replies. “ There may be something in the very last line of the very last paragraph on page six that you just love that is so beautiful or wild that you now know what you’re supposed to be writing about, more or less, or in what direction you might go- but there was no way to get this without first getting through the first five and a half pages” (3 Lamott) Looking at my watch I realize it’s time to pick my son up from school and although I’ve gained some great information that I’m sure will take me far I’ve let the day get away from me and I will be unable to take this information and put it to good use today. “Mothers work is never done” I cringe. How am I to write on such a short schedule I think to myself as the frustration and anxiety builds yet again. Maria then turns her head with a slight grin “A writer who waits for ideal conditions under which to work will die without putting a word on paper” Maria quotes this to me from another writer E.B. White (1 Povoa) I’m take all notes down as fast as possible so that I can put them towards my own writing process for the following days work. She continues to tell me about another Writers process and I note it as well thinking this will be more helpful. “Starting tomorrow- if not today I will get up every morning no later than 8 I will have lunch only with Roger I will write in the notebook everyday I will tell people not to call in the morning or not answer the phone I will try to confine my reading to the evening I will answer letters once a week” writer s.stonag (2 pova) “Work of section in hand, following plan of action scrupulously. No intrusions, no diversions. Write to finish one section at a time” writer Henry Miller (3Pova) As we say our goodbyes and they all wish me the best of luck with my writing I run briskly out the door eyes wide with excitement and new found hope saying to myself “ you can and you will do this Danielle you got this”
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Danielle
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