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"If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it change your attitude"
-Maya Angelou
-Maya Angelou
I've created a vlog on YouTube giving a reflection on my personal growth as a writer. Please take a look feel free to tell me what you think!
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In this bog i will be using clips, words, and descriptive details from my Narrative Project to create a found poem about my cycle of love. Using | Sample Found Poem | Visual Examples of Found Poems as guides to help me develop my idea. I scream out, desperately looking forward to healthy relationship it sparkles like the sky on a clear night and all you can see is the stars I don’t wait, I can conceal the contents I enter standing off to the side to survey colors lights dancing vibrant the face couldn’t see pulling me closer This is what I came for night of no thinking or worrying Mr. Handsome takes my hand Who is this man Why is any of this happening Why is my vision so blurry These are all the questions shuffling through my mind like a deck of cards vision and thoughts cloudy dazed and confused collided with my better judgement Do you think the narrative provides enough descriptive language to create a compelling found poem
- Yes, My Narrative provides enough description for the type of poem I wanted to create. Do you think the descriptive language more so creates a setting or delivers the subtext of a theme? -My theme was confusion of love/ relationships i feel that i was able to capture that. In revision, will you focus on using description to develop more of the setting or more of a theme? -I would probably try to focus more on the ending of my love cycle. If not, how do you plan to revise the descriptive language in the narrative? Today’s blog post I’ve composed a scene from a moment in my past where I made a decision that had a negative impact on my life. I used the reading My Mother Gives me a Writing Lesson (Martin Lee) to help me illustrate this scene
Ok mom! I’m leaving don’t wait up. I jump in my freshly cleaned car headed to the club, it sparkles like the sky on a clean night and all you can see is the stars. My first stop is the liquor store for the Patron of course that’s the only drink that doesn’t give me a hangover once I’ve emptied the bottle, and I do intend to empty this one. Stopping at the nearest WAWA to get a cup with lid so I can conceal the contents next. I’m happy, looking good smelling good, feeling good it’s going to be a good night I can feel it. I pull up to the club double check my hair and make-up reapply my lip gloss then walk to the entrance. All eyes on me just like I like it. I don’t wait at the door the owner knows me and allows me to pass without paying the cover charge. As I enter standing off to the side to survey the place. Everyone is nicely dressed the music is bumping I see an empty bar stool an make my way to it. “Patron chilled please”, I shout to the bar maid. The full bottle I drank on the way here hadn’t kicked in yet so just one shot to get me there a little faster is all I need. The lights are dim and the vibrant colors from the strobe lights are dancing all over me making it hard to focus and my vision a little blurry. “Patron chilled” I shout again over the loud music, “Make it a double” says a very tall handsome guy. We make a small introduction I thank him for the drink, taking it straight back with one gulp. The beat drops to one of my favorite songs. I gently grab his hand leading him to the dance floor as we engage in a very raunchy slow grind I dip low, as I come back up I see a bright pink figure charging straight towards us. I really couldn’t see the face but I damn sure could see this horrible pink dress too bright, too tight, and not paired well with neon pink shoes. The best part of the song comes on I turn towards the gentlemen raising my arms around his neck and he grabs my waist pulling me closer. This is what I came for I just want to dance all night no thinking or worrying about anything until tomorrow. The song ends Mr. Handsome takes my hand leads me back to the bar, but before we make it to the seat we’re bombarded by this pink dress they exchange words I guess I couldn’t hear anything over the music I could only see that the body language and hand gestures exchanged between them weren’t so friendly. I try to side step them both thinking this is surely none of my business. He reaches for my hand pulling Me back towards him at the exact moment I feel my eye stinging and face wet from the cup full of Whatever pink dress had in it. The alcohol starts to burn my skin as my rage kicks in and I leap forward in Attack mode. Today’s blog post I’ve composed a scene from a moment in my past where I made a decision that had a negative impact on my life. To get a better understanding on how to do this I listened to a pod cast,
What You Don't Know (Lulu Wang). I going to kill this bitch!!! I scream out as I get into my car slamming the door so hard I thought the window glass would shatter. I’m a little dizzy I can feel it, but I’m also too enraged to just stop, breath, count to ten, and rationalize. It was a good day, like any other did my usual routine on Saturday. Clean the house, go the hair and nail salon hit the mall. In preparation for an epic night with my girls. We haven’t hung out together in a long time. I’m desperately looking forward to it. We all have our own lives that are moving fast work, school, being mothers, trying to maintain healthy relationship it can be a lot to juggle. Whenever we get a chance to hang out we make the most of it. Excitedly I head home to get ready. Laying out my outfit I say to myself, “Yeah girllllll you’re going to kill it tonight”. Its all about the shoes they are going to set this outfit off just right. My phone begins to ring as I set out of the shower, Its Blair. “Hey girlllll” I squeal dramatically. “Are you almost ready because you know we have to pick up Lisa, hit The liquor store and take a few fire flicks before we head to the club”. I ramble off. “Danielle, Danielle, Danielle slow down your talking too fast” She says. “I’m actually calling to cancel sorry it’s so last minute my baby sitter canceled” she says sadly. “Ugh” I let out a deep breath. “I’m so glad I don’t have kids” I say while rolling my eye up to the ceiling and beyond. “So, I guess it’s just Lisa and me, you know I don’t really like Lisa. I say with much attitude. Blair says “O yeah she back out too she knows you don’t like her that much”. We say our good byes and promise we will try this again in two weeks. At this point I should be putting on pajamas and picking out a good movie to watch until I doze off, Right! Wrong I continue to get dressed leave stop at the liquor store Patron of course and head to the club drinking all the way. The club had a nice vibe music was good all in all I happy I came. I saw a few familiar faces have a light convos moving throughout the crowd. Suddenly a fight breaks out that im not sure how I became apart of next thing I know Im being dragged out be security. I’m pissed off to say the least vision and thoughts cloudy as I make it back to my car trying to piece together what just happened the only thing I remember is the girl in the pink dress throwing a drink in my face. I pull out the parking spot put my car in reverse. Yelling “ill catch her out front” “I’m going to kill this Bitch”. I slam on the break and it all goes to shit! Reversing I hit nine cars, one being a cop car. The cop swings open my driver door yanks me out slaps the cuffs on me hauls me off to jail. All I wanted to do was have a good time but too much drinking landed me in jail with a DUI. In this post I will use : Hills Like White Elephants (Ernest Hemingway) to inspire my writing. People watching and listening, one of my favorite things to do. In a park, coffee shop, the mall doesn’t really matter. I just enjoy watching how people interact and converse. In this scene you see how a couple converse over a break up.
My eyes lock on a beautiful young couple, they’re holding hands, smiling looking happy and enjoying the nice day. Everything looks to be perfect, they sit on the next bench over from my dog and I lovingly they embrace kiss lightly and began to talk, and I listened. She asked, “Remember when we first met, and I asked “if you ever want to leave me be gentle” “don’t be harsh?” He said “Yes darling, I remember” She turned and said, “I told you”, “To tell me all the things you would miss about me” He said, “My darling, sweet darling yes I remember”. He replied “there are so many wonderful things I will miss about you” “Your smile in the morning”, “The way you tilt your head when you comb your hair” She said, “And I you my love”, “I’d surely miss many things about you” He then said, “Ill miss the fried eggs every morning with the lemonade”, “Ill miss the smell of fresh baked bread whenever I enter your house” She then gasped, “O baby you’d really miss those things” He replied with sad eyes “I really will….” His voice faded into the air. She said, “I’d miss the way you rub my feet after I’ve had a long day” He stands abruptly turns and begins to leave, his pace speeds up and he doesn’t look back. She screams! “what’s wrong! where are you going! What’s happening” “My love talks to me, help me understand” She cries out. Coming to a halt face screwed he gasps! “I’ve been telling you all the things I WILL! Miss about you” “your just not listening to me so I must to go, this relationship is over” Yelling after him “You’re just leaving me after all I’ve done for you”, All that I’ve sacrificed”, All that I’ve lost to be with you!”. She asked breathlessly… “What am I supposed to do now?” “without you” …. He continued to walk no looking back. - “sometimes to obtain another it means to lose one’s self Introduction:
In this small scene of a day in my life you get a feel for how I go through my day, deal with stress, and I balance being a mother, full time employee, and full time student. Highlighting that yes its a lot to take on but it can be done optimism is key!
Beep! Beep! Beep! Sounds the alarm blaring that yanks me out of a deep sleep 3:00 am time to start yet another long day. My current to do list seems to be never ending these days. Standing in the shower as the steam wakes me I go over my mental check list. The lilac and lavender body scrub is refreshing and healing it relaxes me while I try to convince myself that all task for today must be completed. Work, school, pick TyLiib up from after care, hit the market for a few items, wash a few loads of clothes drop TyLiib off to my mother’s house, back to work for some much needed over time. Back home review my homework, whip up something fast for dinner, 30mins of play time then 30mins of me time then try to sleep. O how I wish there were 10 more hours in a day. All my days consist of making the most of my time, every second accounted for. TyLiib, that’s my four-year-old son, he is so sweet and understanding, we do our homework together that’s our bonding time. He keeps me going, never whining or being difficult about all the back and fourth to grandmas or late nights with early mornings. Or the 2 days a week he doesn’t see me at all because of my work and school schedule. Sometimes it can be overwhelming most days I just go through the motions keeping to the checklist. If our tired eyes don’t meet over the dinner table I won’t cry from lack of sleep, money, or time missed with him. My days are long my nights are short but I’m very exited for all the new changes happening in my life right now! “Cold brew please whipped easy no sugar”, my third one in two hours as I sit in the new Chic
coffee shop placed in my recently gentrified neighborhood. Frustrated gasping silently as I review all my materials trying to put down my ideas not making sense of anything I look out the window in aggravated. I really despise writing being more of the conversational type able to discuss anything religion, art, politics, even cartoons but writing no! not my strong suit. I'll take a smoke break then come back and try it all over again as I return I look to my left and notice 3 nicely dressed well-spoken people having a conversation about what writing how ironic I usually try to mind my business and stay to myself but I couldn't let the opportunity pass I order two coffees one tea and step up to their table very nervously I begin to stumble over my words “umm ahh umm hello excuse me I’m Danielle I overheard you guys discussing the writing process is it okay if I sit in and take few notes. I'm really struggling and don't know when or how to start” Each person introduces themselves to me and I feel like I’ve just hit the lotto. Don Murray, Anne Lamott, and Maria Popova. I say out loud “this is going to be great”. “Writing is primarily not a matter of talent, dedication, of vision, of vocabulary, of style, but simply a matter of sitting, the writer is a person who writes.” (1 Murray) Well that’s excellent because I think I’ve mastered sitting. I’ve been sitting here for three hours to no avail. We all let out light hearted chuckle and then get back to business. I show them what I’ve been working on thus far which is mostly scribbles, and x’s across most of the writing, parts I explain as editing. “Don’t look back. Yes, the drafts need fixing. But first it needs writing” (2 Murray) “Be patient, listen quietly, the writing will come. The voice of the writing will tell you what to do” (3 Murray) This makes sense to me the light bulb finally comes on. I’ve been going about this all wrong and I know it now. I have plenty to say, “so just say it Danielle”, I whisper to myself. Or so I thought, but I continue to explain my x’s across the many sheets of paper and my thoughts that I can’t seem to gather enough to place into well thought out sentences. Anne throws her hand up in my face to silence me the look on her face clearly shows she is tired of hearing all my self-absorbed whining and complaining, she says; “Shitty first draft, all good writers write them. This is how they end up with good second drafts and terrific third drafts.” (1 Lamott) “The first draft is a child’s draft, where you let it all pour out and then let it romp all over the place, knowing that no one is going to see it and that you can shape it later” (2 Lamott) I proceed to pull out balled up sheets of paper from my coat pockets with a look of relief on my face. “So i can keep these is what you are saying” as I place them on the table for observation. She briefly eyes over them with an expressionless face and I get nervous again. She looks up with a brightness in her eyes that makes me feel trusting and safe then replies. “ There may be something in the very last line of the very last paragraph on page six that you just love that is so beautiful or wild that you now know what you’re supposed to be writing about, more or less, or in what direction you might go- but there was no way to get this without first getting through the first five and a half pages” (3 Lamott) Looking at my watch I realize it’s time to pick my son up from school and although I’ve gained some great information that I’m sure will take me far I’ve let the day get away from me and I will be unable to take this information and put it to good use today. “Mothers work is never done” I cringe. How am I to write on such a short schedule I think to myself as the frustration and anxiety builds yet again. Maria then turns her head with a slight grin “A writer who waits for ideal conditions under which to work will die without putting a word on paper” Maria quotes this to me from another writer E.B. White (1 Povoa) I’m take all notes down as fast as possible so that I can put them towards my own writing process for the following days work. She continues to tell me about another Writers process and I note it as well thinking this will be more helpful. “Starting tomorrow- if not today I will get up every morning no later than 8 I will have lunch only with Roger I will write in the notebook everyday I will tell people not to call in the morning or not answer the phone I will try to confine my reading to the evening I will answer letters once a week” writer s.stonag (2 pova) “Work of section in hand, following plan of action scrupulously. No intrusions, no diversions. Write to finish one section at a time” writer Henry Miller (3Pova) As we say our goodbyes and they all wish me the best of luck with my writing I run briskly out the door eyes wide with excitement and new found hope saying to myself “ you can and you will do this Danielle you got this” The Proust Questionnaire
1. No such thing as perfect happiness only the pursuit of it 2. My great fear is not being alive to raise my own son 3. My carelessness Is my most deplorable trait 4. Lying 5. My older brother 6. My hair 7. Uncertainty 8. Patients 9. When being asked “what are you doing” 10. My teeth 11. n/a 12. the ability to get things done 13. softness 14. no and don’t get me started 15. my son 16. idk 17. idk 18. I would change my carelessness 19. Returning to school 20. A butterfly or myself 21. n/a 22. n/a 23. n/a 24. n/a 25. bluntness 26. when they can tell me when im wrong 27. j. California Cooper 28. n/a 29. n/a 30. none 31. eli,Elizabeth, Eileen 32. greedy people 33. n/a 34. in my bed in my sleep 35. don’t start none wont be none |
Danielle
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