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"If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it change your attitude"
-Maya Angelou
-Maya Angelou
Today’s blog post I’ve composed a scene from a moment in my past where I made a decision that had a negative impact on my life. To get a better understanding on how to do this I listened to a pod cast,
What You Don't Know (Lulu Wang). I going to kill this bitch!!! I scream out as I get into my car slamming the door so hard I thought the window glass would shatter. I’m a little dizzy I can feel it, but I’m also too enraged to just stop, breath, count to ten, and rationalize. It was a good day, like any other did my usual routine on Saturday. Clean the house, go the hair and nail salon hit the mall. In preparation for an epic night with my girls. We haven’t hung out together in a long time. I’m desperately looking forward to it. We all have our own lives that are moving fast work, school, being mothers, trying to maintain healthy relationship it can be a lot to juggle. Whenever we get a chance to hang out we make the most of it. Excitedly I head home to get ready. Laying out my outfit I say to myself, “Yeah girllllll you’re going to kill it tonight”. Its all about the shoes they are going to set this outfit off just right. My phone begins to ring as I set out of the shower, Its Blair. “Hey girlllll” I squeal dramatically. “Are you almost ready because you know we have to pick up Lisa, hit The liquor store and take a few fire flicks before we head to the club”. I ramble off. “Danielle, Danielle, Danielle slow down your talking too fast” She says. “I’m actually calling to cancel sorry it’s so last minute my baby sitter canceled” she says sadly. “Ugh” I let out a deep breath. “I’m so glad I don’t have kids” I say while rolling my eye up to the ceiling and beyond. “So, I guess it’s just Lisa and me, you know I don’t really like Lisa. I say with much attitude. Blair says “O yeah she back out too she knows you don’t like her that much”. We say our good byes and promise we will try this again in two weeks. At this point I should be putting on pajamas and picking out a good movie to watch until I doze off, Right! Wrong I continue to get dressed leave stop at the liquor store Patron of course and head to the club drinking all the way. The club had a nice vibe music was good all in all I happy I came. I saw a few familiar faces have a light convos moving throughout the crowd. Suddenly a fight breaks out that im not sure how I became apart of next thing I know Im being dragged out be security. I’m pissed off to say the least vision and thoughts cloudy as I make it back to my car trying to piece together what just happened the only thing I remember is the girl in the pink dress throwing a drink in my face. I pull out the parking spot put my car in reverse. Yelling “ill catch her out front” “I’m going to kill this Bitch”. I slam on the break and it all goes to shit! Reversing I hit nine cars, one being a cop car. The cop swings open my driver door yanks me out slaps the cuffs on me hauls me off to jail. All I wanted to do was have a good time but too much drinking landed me in jail with a DUI.
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In this post I will use : Hills Like White Elephants (Ernest Hemingway) to inspire my writing. People watching and listening, one of my favorite things to do. In a park, coffee shop, the mall doesn’t really matter. I just enjoy watching how people interact and converse. In this scene you see how a couple converse over a break up.
My eyes lock on a beautiful young couple, they’re holding hands, smiling looking happy and enjoying the nice day. Everything looks to be perfect, they sit on the next bench over from my dog and I lovingly they embrace kiss lightly and began to talk, and I listened. She asked, “Remember when we first met, and I asked “if you ever want to leave me be gentle” “don’t be harsh?” He said “Yes darling, I remember” She turned and said, “I told you”, “To tell me all the things you would miss about me” He said, “My darling, sweet darling yes I remember”. He replied “there are so many wonderful things I will miss about you” “Your smile in the morning”, “The way you tilt your head when you comb your hair” She said, “And I you my love”, “I’d surely miss many things about you” He then said, “Ill miss the fried eggs every morning with the lemonade”, “Ill miss the smell of fresh baked bread whenever I enter your house” She then gasped, “O baby you’d really miss those things” He replied with sad eyes “I really will….” His voice faded into the air. She said, “I’d miss the way you rub my feet after I’ve had a long day” He stands abruptly turns and begins to leave, his pace speeds up and he doesn’t look back. She screams! “what’s wrong! where are you going! What’s happening” “My love talks to me, help me understand” She cries out. Coming to a halt face screwed he gasps! “I’ve been telling you all the things I WILL! Miss about you” “your just not listening to me so I must to go, this relationship is over” Yelling after him “You’re just leaving me after all I’ve done for you”, All that I’ve sacrificed”, All that I’ve lost to be with you!”. She asked breathlessly… “What am I supposed to do now?” “without you” …. He continued to walk no looking back. - “sometimes to obtain another it means to lose one’s self Introduction:
In this small scene of a day in my life you get a feel for how I go through my day, deal with stress, and I balance being a mother, full time employee, and full time student. Highlighting that yes its a lot to take on but it can be done optimism is key!
Beep! Beep! Beep! Sounds the alarm blaring that yanks me out of a deep sleep 3:00 am time to start yet another long day. My current to do list seems to be never ending these days. Standing in the shower as the steam wakes me I go over my mental check list. The lilac and lavender body scrub is refreshing and healing it relaxes me while I try to convince myself that all task for today must be completed. Work, school, pick TyLiib up from after care, hit the market for a few items, wash a few loads of clothes drop TyLiib off to my mother’s house, back to work for some much needed over time. Back home review my homework, whip up something fast for dinner, 30mins of play time then 30mins of me time then try to sleep. O how I wish there were 10 more hours in a day. All my days consist of making the most of my time, every second accounted for. TyLiib, that’s my four-year-old son, he is so sweet and understanding, we do our homework together that’s our bonding time. He keeps me going, never whining or being difficult about all the back and fourth to grandmas or late nights with early mornings. Or the 2 days a week he doesn’t see me at all because of my work and school schedule. Sometimes it can be overwhelming most days I just go through the motions keeping to the checklist. If our tired eyes don’t meet over the dinner table I won’t cry from lack of sleep, money, or time missed with him. My days are long my nights are short but I’m very exited for all the new changes happening in my life right now! |
Danielle
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